


can't unscramble jagged pieces (can't unsee a clear picture)

by hallowgirl



Category: Political RPF - UK 20th-21st c.
Genre: (kinda), Angst with a Happy Ending, Belligerent Sexual Tension, Divorce, Driving, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Jeremy's Being An Agony Uncle, Labour's Issues, Love Epiphany, M/M, Marital Problems, Separation, everyone can see it, from enemies to friends to lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-01
Updated: 2016-04-01
Packaged: 2018-05-30 14:44:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6428419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hallowgirl/pseuds/hallowgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>"Well" he says, and because Jeremy has a habit, as the Labour party knows, sometimes to its' cost, of just saying what he thinks and not caring who on earth hears it, when he says "You're in love with him" the same way he might say "You like Rice Krispies or "You have two sons", for a moment, Ed doesn't even feel shocked."</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>To hammer home the irony, it's Jeremy, of all people, who tells him. Camerband.</p>
            </blockquote>





	can't unscramble jagged pieces (can't unsee a clear picture)

**Author's Note:**

> So this literally came to me from the one line I quoted in the summary when I was daydreaming. And also because for some reason I've started to enjoy writing Jeremy as an agony uncle type (which might be some desperately optimistic attempt to believe the man has some merit.) Also, since I heard the story of David putting a jacket round Ed's shoulders, I've needed to get that into a fic. Leave a comment if you like it!

Jeremy hates driving so it's rare that he does it, but today he is, squinting at the road ahead as though he suspects someone will crash into them any moment. For his part, Ed's content to watch with a small amount of amusement, which flickers briefly up in the heaviness he feels everywhere else, weighing him down.

"We're not in a good place" he says again, and wonders (again) at the irony of how people are saying he lies to himself.

Jeremy just keeps his eyes on the road. "You've said so."

"No, but-" Ed doesn't know if he has the energy to say it. The sky outside is overcast, grey with all the rain it's trying not to cry. He wouldn't have known it was Easter a few days ago. He'd barely known it was Easter when it was Easter.

He'd seen the boys, though. And Justine, and they'd all had a meal together and they'd managed to do a good job of smiling for the boys and of trying to act as if maybe they weren't quite the happy family they had been but like they could be another happy family, even if it was one that wasn't together.

If that was still a family.

That's the sort of thing he'd pick Cameron up on usually, when he tried to duck and dodge his way through definitions.

Ed is interrupted in these musings by Jeremy casting him a glance and saying, with a small smile, "Is this about me, Ed?"

"No" Ed says automatically and then...."Yeah."

Jeremy laughs a little quietly to himself and turns his attention back to the road. Ed feels an immediate stab of guilt at tripping himself up yet again (like he did with the teacup and when he asked Brooks how her children were and with the stage and with the stupid prank show when he was the only one who didn't realise it was a prank and with _everything.)_

(Ed has to pull his thoughts out of this because it's sending him back into the heaviness that seems to be hanging over everything these days, crushing it down.)

(Nothing seems to be lifting it. He can't even go and argue with Cameron, and then end up reluctantly laughing, which can irritate him to no end, but at least help him forget for a while.)

"I mean-" He shakes his head. "I mean...I don't mean it's you. I mean-people are complaining about you."

Jeremy laughs louder. Ed blushes and thinks about throwing himself out of the car door.

"I'm sorry" he says, which is becoming something he just says now, like _hello_ or _thank you_ or _please._ _Sorry_ to Justine when he asked if he could use the house for an interview and so she arranged to be out. _Sorry_ to the boys when they asked why they weren't the same as they used to be. _Sorry_ to everyone who keeps screaming in capital letters on his phone screen that it's his fault they've been left to suffer the Tories, even if that one's silent and constantly there, behind his eyes, being whispered.

There isn't enough of _sorry_ in the world.

"There's no need to be sorry" Jeremy says and the retort niggles sharply in Ed's head, _Then why was I on that list?_

He bites his lip, telling himself to be _collegiate_ , to _build bridges_ , to make sure he-but then he's done that for years and what's the point of doing it now.

He's saved from his dilemma by Jeremy saying "You want to know why you were on that list, don't you?"

Ed flushes again but doesn't answer, his silence doing the talking for him.

"I'll take that as a yes" Jeremy says, and then frowns as someone overtakes them. "Now, that's just _thoughtless."_

Ed could smile at Jeremy's rather untainted expectations of driving, but he doesn't. He's too tired to. This is yet another visit he's come out of feeling drained and tired, and even though people smiled and seemed to be saying the right things, Ed has no idea how he's the one who's expected to know.

This time last year-

He wrenches his thoughts away from that. He doesn't think he's the one who should be expected to gauge people's reactions at all, these days.

"I didn't have anything to do with the list" Jeremy says and Ed believes him. He knows people would probably call him naive for that but he's got used to it now.

He supposes he'll get used to other things, too.

Jeremy glances at him and a corner of his mouth lifts. "You'd like to ask me something."

Ed swallows because he does and Jeremy gives him a smile and a nod, and Ed probably should just keep quiet but he turns his head so that he's staring out of the window and says "Did John?"

Jeremy doesn't take in a breath but the air between them tautens a little and Ed drums his fingers a little too fast on the door.

He never had a problem asking these questions with Cameron. But then, Cameron would say that's because Ed is good at not seeing what he wants to not see on his own side and seeing whatever he wants to see on Cameron's side-

"I don't know" Jeremy says after a few moments and Ed glances at him quickly. "I'm sorry" he says again, without even knowing what for this time and hoping against hope that Jeremy won't ask him what for.

"What are you sorry for?"

If Ed had ever questioned his own lack of belief in God, at this moment all doubts on the matter are put to rest, as if enough hasn't happened to put them there already.

Anyone else would let the question go, except Jeremy. And except Cameron, Ed suddenly realises with something approaching a roll of the eyes.

"I just-" Ed closes his eyes, feeling the truth fit itself into his mouth, climbing out the way it sometimes does around Jeremy and Cameron. If Jeremy asks him something, it's because he genuinely wants to know the answer.

If Cameron asks him something, it's because he does too, but not in the same way.

"I think-" he says, without opening his eyes because they're heavy and he's tired of keeping them open and tired of looking at people. Which isn't a good thing, considering they've got less than three months until the referendum and he still feels like he isn't doing enough.

"I think that-I feel-I should be-"

"Shouldn't be telling me?" Jeremy asks and Ed nods without opening his eyes.

After a few moments, Jeremy asks, sounding simultaneously concerned and amused, "Why are you keeping your eyes closed?"

Ed doesn't answer for a few moments.

"I don't think that's going to help the situation."

Ed opens them slowly and reflects on the truly brutal irony of _Jeremy_ being the one to tell anybody to open their eyes.

"Though, apparently-" Jeremy says perfectly levelly, peering over the steering wheel with a look of slight consternation. "You didn't expect the situation to get worse."

Ed frowns and then feels the colour rush to his cheeks as he realises what Jeremy's referring to.

"That was a-"

Jeremy gives him a brief arched eyebrow, a ghost of the headmaster stare he sometimes levels at Cameron (who always just _laughs,_ God, why is Cameron never _bothered_ by anything?) and Ed winces.

"I'm sorry" he says again and wants to rip his own mouth off.

"You're apologizing a little too much" Jeremy tells him and Ed doesn't know whether he should laugh or not.

"I know things haven't been going well" Jeremy says, keeping his eyes on the road again now. "And I'm sorry for that."

It takes Ed a few moments to realise that Jeremy has just apologised for something, the way far too many of their colleagues have been dreaming of for months, and he's the only one who's heard it.

He almost spins round in his seat, which seems to cause Jeremy another jab of amusement. "You're-um-"

Jeremy gives him a politely confused look. "I don't enjoy seeing things go badly, Ed" he says calmly before turning the steering wheel carefully, as if not quite sure how it fits in his hands. "When I make mistakes, I need to know."

"The-um-" Ed's mouth is moving and he's blurting something out, as usual. "The list" he manages and Jeremy nods, eyes still on the road. "That-that wasn't your fault."

Jeremy's cheek lifts in a smile. "I know" he says, still perfectly calmly. "Cameron seemed to rather enjoy it."

Ed closes his eyes again at the stab of utter annoyance that sends through his ribs-the way Cameron had been shaking with laughter as he read out the list of jibes that must have been scribbled less than an hour beforehand but had sent half the Commons into hysterics, the way Cameron had almost leaned on the despatch box as he sailed through the whole session when he should have been pinned down and squirming and-

And Ed had almost laughed a few times, which is the worst bit because Cameron could always make him laugh, and _that's_ the-

"What about him?" Jeremy asks and it's only then that Ed realises that he's said Cameron's name, and that somehow his hands are digging into the seat hard enough to hurt.

He loosens his grip carefully, and makes sure his voice is steady before he can answer. "He's just-"

He can never find the right _word_ for Cameron.

"Irritating" he finally manages, his voice a little louder and his cheeks a little warmer than they should be.

Jeremy laughs. "He is."

Somehow, that isn't enough. He stares ahead for a moment, something that he chooses to think is anger pulsing hot behind his eyes, and then he turns suddenly to Jeremy.

"That Budget was a disaster." It almost explodes out of his mouth, but Jeremy just nods in agreement, though he casts Ed a look that's a little more curious as he does so.

"It was a _shambles."_ He's actually trembling a little and he's so _angry_ all of a sudden-or-or he _thinks_ it's anger-

His hands curl into fists and then he turns to look at Jeremy. "He-and he just _stood_ there- _laughing_ and he-he got _away_ with it."

Because he had. Cameron had got away with it. The way Cameron always does.

Bloody _always._

For the first time, something like a wince passes Jeremy's face and Ed, staring at him and running over his own words quickly in his head, realises why almost instantly.

"Oh." He leans back in his seat, covers his eyes. (He's so tired. He's just always so tired.) "Oh. Fuck. I didn't mean you."

He doesn't have to open his eyes to picture the look on Jeremy's face and so he waves a hand. "It's just-I mean-I mean I didn't mean to have a go at you. I'm just-it's just-him."

It's always _just him_ with Cameron. The man is absolutely maddening.

"He just _always-"_ and his eyes fly open again, and he finds himself fighting the childish urge to kick something. "He gets away with it. Every time. He can just-he can-he can make them all _laugh_ and-and-and-" He's grasping for words. "And _smile_ -and-and get _away_ with it-"

Jeremy's smiling, too. And Jeremy shouldn't be smiling because it's _Cameron_ they're talking about but Ed's too caught up in speaking.

"And it's not just-" He shakes his head. "Why can't he _see?_ Why can't he _see_ that things are-that things-" The words are welling up like a tide. "He's not _stupid."_

Jeremy gives him a tiny shake of the head in agreement.

"He's not _blind._ He can _tell,_ when something isn't right." (Cameron always knew when something wasn't right with _him_ which was downright irritating when Ed needed to point out to him where he was wrong.) "He's not blind and- _Iain Duncan-Smith resigned_ , for God's sake-"

He's almost shouting now and it might be his imagination but Jeremy seems to be smiling a little. "He _resigned_ and-how can Cameron not _see-_ and Osborne-because-"

He almost bangs his head against the seat with frustration. "He knows-he must know when he's done th-something wrong-" His lisp is rearing it's head again but for once, he doesn't even care, and then he says "He must know-why won't he _listen?"_

It comes out as almost a splutter, words that he's been saying over and over to himself for over five years now. "Every time I try to-make him _see...._ he won't _listen_ to me."

Jeremy's not saying anything and he's keeping his eyes on the road.

"And he makes everyone _laugh."_ A part of Ed winces at the utterly childish tone in which this comes out in. _(He_ couldn't make people laugh like that, but he's not about to say that and demean himself even more.) "And he just-he-"

He makes _Ed_ laugh, which he is _not_ going to say because it was humiliating enough whenever it happened in the Commons, which was far too often. And he could never even be annoyed about it because then Cameron would give him that look, with his eyes creased with his own laughter and that grin and Ed would find himself laughing harder, until it ached in his chest, and when their eyes met again, the laughter that would be shaking in his ribs would be what his mind would be pulled back to over and over again throughout the rest of the day, that and the feeling of Cameron's eyes meeting his, and the stupid smile he'd feel himself wearing every time he thought about it.

It's all part of what makes Cameron so _irritating._

"And he-" Ed's saying it before he realises he's even thinking it. "He's not _bad."_

He immediately realises how stupid the words sound and blushes and wishes he could punch himself in the mouth but Jeremy doesn't say anything.

"I mean-he's not a bad _person."_ He leans his head against the window. "That's the entire _point._ He's not- _evil,_ he's not- _bad_ and that's what-"

Because he _knows_ Cameron can be-it sounds pathetic and naive and stupid but Cameron can be _kind._

"He can be _nice_ " he blurts out and then feels truly idiotic. But "He _can_ be. He does-" because this is the thing about Cameron, _The Thing_ , one of the things that has always lodged in Ed's throat and that he can't quite put into words, because it would be so much more convenient if it wasn't true-"He does _care."_

Jeremy doesn't contradict him. Instead, he just gives Ed a little look out of the corner of his eye and then turns back to the road.

"It's just-" Ed's mouth won't stop working. "He-he cares and-and I don't _enjoy_ seeing him fail." That's another of the most irritating things about Cameron-he _is_ in charge and it's not good to see the people in charge flailing about in desperation, especially when a part of you wonders if your own side are really up to a challenge.

"I don't enjoy-I mean, it's like we said-" He finds himself gesturing backwards wildly, as if indicating the people they've just spoken with. "Just because the Tories are fighting-that's not-that shouldn't be what a referendum is about."

"That's right" Jeremy says, speaking for the first time in several minutes.

Ed nods. "Exactly" he says, breathing a little harder than usual. "And-and even if it wasn't the EU-people voting against just to-to-" He shakes his head. _"Embarrass_ him-that's not-that's just-"

It's stupid and undemocratic and thoroughly ignorant, is what he wants to say and what he means. But-there's also something about it that's just-

It's just...petty. And small-minded. And-

And something about it just makes Ed-

He leans his head against the window, presses his hand to his mouth, resisting the urge to chew at his knuckles. "He's just-I don't know why he won't _listen_. I can't _make_ him-"

He flushes because it's not his job anymore to make Cameron listen, to make Cameron reconsider, to make Cameron _better-_

It's not but it still feels like it.

"I don't know why." It comes out as a bit of a mumble and he clears his throat and then sits up straight. "I don't know why I'm even thinking about him."

Jeremy is silent for a few moments but something about his face is thoughtful. Ed turns to look out of the window.

"Well" Jeremy says, after a few long seconds of silence have stretched between them. "It's understandable."

Ed stares out through the glass for a few moments, then turns to look at him. Jeremy glances at him briefly, eyes flickering as if quickly taking all of Ed in, and then back to the road ahead.

"I mean" he says, adjusting the wheel carefully. "It's not entirely unexpected."

Ed shrugs. "I just.." The words crawl out, mumbled and dragging in the voice that virtually everyone makes fun of and sometime he doesn't think he even cares anymore. "Don't know why it's _him."_

Jeremy gives him a strange look and then shrugs a little. "Well" he says, and because Jeremy has a habit, as the Labour Party knows sometimes to its' cost, of just saying what he thinks and not caring who on earth hears it, when he says "You're in love with him", the same way he might say "You like Rice Krispies" or "You have two sons", for a moment, Ed doesn't even feel shocked.

He just sits there for a moment, the words hanging stupidly in the air between them while Jeremy turns his attention back to the road, as if he hasn't even said anything particularly unusual, before Ed slowly turns to look at him, the words only just hitting him and then-

"What?" he manages, his voice a little higher, more strangled than usual and Jeremy gives him another strange look, as if Ed's the one behaving oddly.

Ed opens his mouth then closes it again. "What-did you just say that I-" He laughs because he must have heard incorrectly. "I-you said that I'm-in love with-" There shouldn't be any kind of panic rising in his chest and his cheeks shouldn't be burning while his hands are suddenly icy cold.

Jeremy gives him another, stranger look. "Yes" he says slowly. "You are." He turns back to the road, with a mildly disconcerted look, as if Ed's deliberately misunderstanding him.

Ed opens his mouth, closes it, then opens it again. "What-but-I-" Jeremy's said it in such a quietly certain way that it feels almost bizarre to correct him.

But he has to-because-

He feels a wave of near-hysterical laughter rising in his throat, and he waits for it to hit him really, the shock and the sheer _objection_ to the whole idea slamming him in the chest, but-

But-

He stares at Jeremy. "But I-I-" He needs to say "I'm not." He needs to say "I know you're trying to help. But really, I'm not."

He should be saying "Why would you even _think-"_

But he isn't.

He isn't asking why he would think-

Which is a frightening thought in itself.

"I can't b-" is what comes out of his mouth instead and Jeremy gives him another longer, more considering look.

"Obviously, it would be uncomfortable" he says easily, changing the gearstick and giving it the geography-teacher stare, as if it's being impertinent. "I mean, the job's difficult enough. As I'm finding out" he adds thoughtfully while Ed stares at him and splutters helplessly. "But-I imagine actually caring for him-"

"But I-I _can't-"_ Ed's fighting for words because _him and Cameron-_

He wants to laugh. He wants to laugh but he can't and his mind's probing inconveniently at those moments their eyes met and held, the laughter trapped in their throats-

"We-"

Jeremy glances at him. "I know he doesn't know" he tells Ed, almost reassuringly and Ed just makes a frantic squeaking sound in his throat.

(It would be something about _Cameron_ that would reduce him to squeaking.)

(That thought just makes the blood rush to his cheeks so quickly he feels dizzy.)

"Well-" Jeremy tilts his head back a little, frowning at the road ahead. "Obviously, he knows about his own feelings, but he doesn't know you-"

At this, Ed manages to squeak out a _"What?"_ and Jeremy gives him another frown, as if Ed now is just being deliberately obtuse.

"That he loves you" Jeremy tells him, before pulling himself a little closer to the wheel. "I mean, I don't know the ins and outs of it obviously-" From somewhere in his now slightly hysterical brain, Ed manages to reflect that Jeremy apparently knows far more about his feelings than he does-

(or thinks he does because he _can't_ be right, he-)

"But he's in love with you" Jeremy tells him, and Ed's fingers are gripping hard into the seat cushion, his heart banging against his ribs. "It's quite obvious."

Not to _him,_ Ed reflects frantically and opens his mouth to blurt out something, anything, about how wrong Jeremy is, about how there are lots of things he's right on, but this is one of those ones where he's just-just missing the point-

"I'm married" is what comes out weakly and Jeremy gives him a quick look out of the corner of his eye and says "Not really."

Ed almost chokes.

Jeremy gives him another, concerned look. "I thought you should know-it hasn't escaped people's notice that that interview you gave didn't mention Justine at all."

Ed opens and closes his mouth frantically, soundlessly, but manages nothing. Panic's rising, a whirling tide in his brain that he can't sink his fingers into and calm.

"It's all right" Jeremy says, with a quick touch to his arm and then turning back to the road. "No one was going to say anything until you talked about it."

Ed closes his eyes because everyone _knows_. God, everyone _knows_ -he can't even keep _this_ quiet-and he wants to laugh again because _this_ is what he's worrying about when Jeremy's telling him he's in _love_ with-

"And anyway" Jeremy says, fingers tapping a little on the wheel. "Being married doesn't always stop you falling in love with someone else."

Ed stares at him. "But I'm _not"_ he manages a little frantically, finally. "I-I'm not in _love_ with him, honestly, Jeremy I-I-"

The words come out weakly and Jeremy just looks at him quietly. Ed opens his mouth and closes again because why aren't they coming more _easily,_ why aren't the _reasons_ coming more easily because he is _not_ in _love_ with Cameron, he is _not,_ he _can't_ be-

And that should be coming out easily, his mind shouldn't be scrabbling for those moments when their eyes met or Cameron grabbed his arm unthinkingly and the warmth that almost punched him in the chest at those points and made him laugh and the utter _exasperation_ that rose in his ribs when Cameron coaxed a laugh out of him even when he should be _furious_ with him, and the way something would tauten, high and grinning in his chest when Cameron's eyes met his with an arch of the eyebrow or a grin or the way something just ached like a bruise when Cameron's eyes softened as he looked at a child or a picture of a war zone, something that ached at the sight of _Cameron_ aching-

His mind shouldn't be scrabbling and-and trying to _fit_ -trying to fit _those_ into the definition that Jeremy's just-trying to fit _those_ into being-

Or-

Or he should-

He should have to _try_ to fit those into-

He's stammering. "I-I c-can't-"

Jeremy looks at him quietly and says "Calm down."

A hysterical little laugh breaks out of Ed's throat. _"How c-can I-"_

"Take a deep breath" Jeremy advises him.

This barely helps matters.

Jeremy touches his arm. "I'm not entirely used to driving" he announces, which does nothing to calm Ed's rising anxiety. "But I'm going to surmise it would not be the done thing to take my eyes off the road. Try to calm down."

Ed swallows and forces himself to take a deep breath. He pushes his face into his hands and those images of Cameron crumble there, little bits and pieces of the two of them over the years-there shouldn't even have _been_ a two of them, and how had he not realised-

How had he not realised _what?_ It can't even be _true-_

"He's not" he says and instead of relief, something aching twists in his chest at the words. "He's not. In love with me. He's got Sam. Sam and the kids. He doesn't need-he doesn't need-"

He's got his eyes closed so he can't see the expression Jeremy's wearing. He can, unfortunately, picture it and it is not the face of someone who is about to leap into agreement with Ed that Cameron cannot possibly, in any conceivable reality, have any kind of feelings for him.

"He might not need it" Jeremy says, after a few moments stretched out with Ed staring through his fingers at the road in front of them and wondering how on earth the day has ended up like this. "But that doesn't matter. He is."

Ed lifts his head from his hands after a few moments and says, eyes on the road "Cameron isn't in love with me" and wonders if he's going a little insane.

Jeremy doesn't even look at him. "He is. He cares about you."

Ed shakes his head because he can't honestly be hearing this.

"How do-"

"The way he looks at you. The way he speaks about you." Jeremy tilts his head to the side. "There are things you must have noticed yourself."

Ed shakes his head automatically because of _course_ he hasn't noticed these things _himself_ because there _aren't_ these things to-

Suddenly, he's remembering VE Day. The day after it was over. He'd failed, and he was only just starting to realise how badly. He'd been standing there and he'd been shivering. He hadn't even realised it, he remembers now vaguely, until he'd looked down and seen that he was shaking.

And then someone's hands had been on his shoulders and the next thing he'd seen, looking down, had been a coat being tucked round himself. He'd felt it, thick and heavy on his shoulders and then Cameron's mouth had been at his ear. "Here-"

He'd known it was Cameron before he'd even turned round and when he had, he'd just looked at him with absolutely no idea what expression was on his own face.

Cameron had just looked at him, his eyes soft and quiet and Ed had heard himself say "Thanks."

Cameron's hand had been warm on his arm. His thumb had brushed Ed's wrist. He-

Ed wrenches his brain out of remembering because he can't-he can't-

"He can't" he manages weakly and Jeremy just looks ahead and says nothing.

"He-I can't-"

(He keeps remembering the way Cameron would stare at him across the Commons, their eyes meeting whenever one of them had said a good line and his mouth would ache with wanting to laugh and something about the way Cameron _grinned_ at him-)

"I-" He closes his eyes because this can't be happening.

He wouldn't even have thought about this before today-

(But then it should be more shocking, it should be more of a jolt and instead of an announcement, it just feels like an acknowledgement, like a-)

"Oh God" he hears himself say and this time Jeremy squeezes his arm.

"God" and he covers his face.

(And all he can see are how soft Cameron's eyes were when he put that jacket around his shoulders and how his mouth opened like he wanted to say something and how of all people Cameron's never lost for words and somehow they could get lost for words or lost in too many words around each other and-)

"I-" He shakes his head and then he looks up at Jeremy who meets his eyes briefly and then, looking ahead, says "You don't have to do anything about it."

Ed hasn't even _approached_ doing anything about it. He's nowhere _near_ doing anything about it. He's still trying to comprehend the fact that it _exists_ for him to do anything about.

It's then he's realised that he's accepted that far too quickly and that he'll have to do something about it because he knows it's there now. It's like those puzzles that show a picture and as a child Ed would squint at them for ages, years upon years, it felt like, trying to fit together the lines and the blocks of colour and the jagged pieces, but then once he'd seen it, once he'd seen the picture, he could never unsee it.

"Not until you want to" Jeremy says, and Ed just stares at him because how can Jeremy _know-_

Jeremy glances at him and gives him a brief smile. "It will be all right" he says and Ed almost laughs again because he can't imagine how Jeremy can know _that._

He sinks back into his seat and stares ahead at the road, with Jeremy's words hovering between them.

He can't unsee it.

(A part of him doesn't know if he wants to and he doesn't know if he wants to pull his thoughts away from that yet and that alone is-)

But he can't not _see_ it.

 _That makes a change,_ Cameron would say.

 _Shut up, Cameron,_ he answers in his head and a part of him can't quite hate that it makes him smile.

**Author's Note:**

> The interview Jeremy mentions is one Ed did in the Guardian a week or so back. It can be found here: http://www.theguardian.com/politics/2016/mar/25/ed-miliband-interview-labour-leader-jeremy-corbyn-fight-goes-on  
>  Also, the story about the coat I had to get in somewhere. And of course, the List is now pretty infamous..  
> And Ed's "things couldn't get worse" comment comes from this: http://www.theguardian.com/politics/2015/nov/22/ed-miliband-on-jeremy-corbyn-i-bet-you-didnt-think-things-would-get-worse  
> Leave a comment if you liked it!


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